The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride

by Psychostick

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1.
2.
Holiday Hate 03:32
It's that time of year for goin' SHOPPING It's that time of year for seein' GRANDMA It's that time of year for lying to CHILDREN That's right, Santa doesn't exist It's that time of year for hatin' FRUITCAKE It's that time of year for drinkin' EGG NOG It's that time of year for bakin' a MINCE PIE Betcha money by the end of the year you'll be FAT Toys a plenty and choo-choo trains Summer sausage and candy canes Wal-mart santa coin donations Salvation Army dedications (Chorus) Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers hit the malls, and drive the economy Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers do your stuff, and make us all glad to be home! It's that time of year for hanging STOCKINGS It's that time of year for GINGERBREAD MEN It's that time of year for getting a FAKE TREE Decorate or you're not gonna eat It's that time of year for watching RE-RUNS It's that time of year for roasting CHESTNUTS It's that time of year for opening PRESENTS Don't forget, better clean up the mess that YOU MADE Christmas music overplayed Every minute of every day Find a present for your mother Then your dad and then your brother! (Chorus) It's that time of year for cheesy SWEATERS It's that time of year for fuzzy EARMUFFS It's that time of year for footed PAJAMAS You know the ones with the hole in the butt It's that time of year for family DRAMA It's that time of year for lots of DRUG USE It's that time of year for having a BREAKDOWN Holidays are the days that will make you hate life
3.
Santa didn't keep his promise, so he's getting his cookies and milk NO MORE All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett Still in original packaging, but Santa has abandoned me And I wanted me a new guitar with EMGs and a whammy bar I don't know why that's so much to ask I was good this year, but now I'm beatin' some ass because (Chorus) Santa's a bastard ‘cuz he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas Santa's an asshole ‘cuz he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist Santa's all shady ‘cuz he won't deliver on the things that he promised Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist. LIES. All I wanted to get for Christmas was a private jet with a stuardess named Angelina Jolie but Santa has forsaken me And I wanted just like every year a new liver and a truck of beer I've been so nice and real patient too but Kris Kringle's got a lot of explaining to do because (Chorus) Santa brought a bunch of socks.
4.
hXc VS \m/ 00:24
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Joy to the world while you're decking all the halls Ya better watch out or we'll kick you in the balls Here we come a-wassailing Feliz Navidad Grandma got ran over by a reindeer fa-la-la Crush your balls with a sleigh Jingle bells in your face (Chorus) Jingle bell metal Fucking shit up with a double bass pedal Ring-a-ling hear them ring, jolly and brutal escape from this very merry medley is futile Dashing through the snow in a winter wonderland The little drummer boy never really had a band Come all ye faithful in a manger heard on high Do you hear what I hear, silver bells, rum-pum-pum (Chorus)
6.
Silent Night 00:24
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Red Snow 04:02
My red nose the cause of all laughter Around here I am just a goddamn chauffeur Fucking Santa he's laughing he won't do a thing choke on blood when you sing (Chorus) My name is Rudolph, I am the saddest reindeer alive But I'm gonna take control. I'm taking over the North Pole I might be smaller, but I'm the meanest reindeer alive Until I exact revenge, I'm never saving Christmas again. Red Snow. My red nose will light up the red snow Smell the air there's a trace of blood in my blow There's another victim waiting for me hiding in the debris (Chorus) No hope. The misfits from the island are trained to kill on command The smell of blood excites them Recall how they were condemned. These toys all shapes and sizes, devised clever disguises They'll infiltrate at midnight, prepare yourselves for a fucking fight Dasher Dancer Prancer and Vixen Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Feel my knife on your throat and I'll grin Put a happy face under your chin Rudolph's gonna make you suffer. Red snow.
8.
You know that I know that we both know how resolutions end You know that you are gonna give up yet you still pretend You can't deny the fact that your convictions bend and break All you'll abandon every promise that you ever make (Pre-chorus) You're not gonna see it through We know what you're gonna do (You're gonna fail) You're not gonna see it through (You're gonna fail) We know what I say is true (Chorus) Happy New Year's Day 2002 and 3 were just like 4 and 5 and 6 Happy New Year's Day You just remind yourself of all the stuff you'll never fix You know that I know as well as you do it's not gonna last Did you forget results of resolutions from the past? File your intentions out of sight and out of mind You'll never follow through with promises of any kind (Pre-chorus) (Chorus) Happy Fucking New Year

about

A Psychostick concept in the works for a few years, "The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride" was released in 2007 as a "Cynical Jab to the Overly Commercialized Holiday Season." As a short follow up to "We Couldn't Think of a Title," Psychostick's plan was to push this as a Holiday EP, thus making it a seasonal record, and they succeeded.

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released September 5, 2007

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Psychostick Chicago, Illinois

Psychostick is a comedy metal band who enjoys beer, boobs, and the occasional dichotomy of a bi-partisan government. Wait... what?

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