IV: Revenge of the Vengeance

by Psychostick

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JesmondJester Only bought this when my mate said I was going to one of their gigs and I thought I'd better find out what they were like. Half way through I had bought the entire back catalogue! Hysterical groove metal. Favorite track: Blue Screen.
Pinky Pyjak
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Pinky Pyjak First album of theirs I had ever listened to and it had me stopped in my tracks, doubled over belly laughing and near to tears. I love the unexpected linguistic and contextual twists and the overall delivery of the jokes! Also metal. Metal is cool, too. Favorite track: So. Heavy..
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of IV: Revenge of the Vengeance, We Couldn't Think of a Title, The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride, Sandwich, The Digital Appetizer, and Space Vampires VS Zombie Dinosaurs in 3-D. , and , .

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released November 4, 2014



all rights reserved


Psychostick Chicago, Illinois

Psychostick is a comedy metal band who enjoys beer, boobs, and the occasional dichotomy of a bi-partisan government. Wait... what?


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Track Name: Obey the Beard
Mustache? No.
Sideburns? No.
Goatie? Maybe...
Beard? BEARD!

Do you feel alone? Do you feel neglected?
Not doin' well with the ladies? Well I've got the solution for you!

Low self esteem? GROW A BEARD!
Afraid to follow your dreams? GROW A BEARD!
Are you lonely and sad? GROW A BEARD!
Wanna look good in plaid? GROW A BEARD!

Are you working out? GROW A BEARD!
Did your car break down? GROW A BEARD!
Ice caps melting? GROW A BEARD!
Are you stuck in the middle of a nowhere and you need to make an
important phone call but the battery is dead and you can't find an
outlet to plug in your charger?


Grow the beard
Feed the beard
Brush the beard
Manscape the beard

Stroke the beard
Love the beard
Fear the beard


Impress your date with your beard
Eat a steak with a beard
Chop down trees with a beard
Crush your enemies with a beard

Catch a fish with a beard
Round house kick with a beard
Troll the net with a beard
Chia pet? Ch-ch-chia beard

Drive a truck with a beard
Try your luck a beard
Arm wrastle with a beard
Teenage mutant Ninja beard

Pet the doggie with a beard
Pledge allegiance to the beard
Can't grow a beard? BUY A BEARD?
Have a beard? GROW MORE BEARD!

"You need to shave that thing!"
Defend the beard
Drink to the beard cuz
Beards are good and scruff


I was so empty and lost inside till I grew you (till you grew me)
I put my faith in my facial hair to get me through
I can defy the odds again and again
With you on my chin (I'm your chin!)
With every moment you grow closer and closer to my heart.

"I love you, beard."
"If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?"

Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard.
For bearder or for worse,
In scruffiness and in beard, till shave do you part.
I beard.

Abe Lincoln had a beard
ZZ top, EPIC beards
Dimebag Darrell, METAL beard
Chuck Norris, KICKASS beard

#1 Make it beard
Chewbacca IS a beard
Santa Claus, Jesus Christ,
GOD has a beard.

Obey the beard
Track Name: President Rhino
Rhinoceros Commander and Chief

Republicans think they got a solid economic platform.
Rhinoceros has two horns
Democrats want to raise the tax on the rich
A Rhino's skin is grey and thick

Rhino will bore through your entrails
swat flies with his thick tail
debate social issues
When it’s time to vote you KNOW WHAT TO DO

(Vote Rhino)

The people loved him for his brutal honesty
Till he mauled a crowd of people at a orphan charity

When Rhino's term was finally ending
His support had started waning
Grazing on the White House lawn
The press revealed that he was lazy

Foreign policies in question
Poachers gone, yet still in recession
Rhino just wants to stampede
I think it's time that he secedes

How could we all believe that such a prehistoric beast who barely sees could have capacity to lead the country to prosperity?

Re-elect President Rhino! Re-elect rhinoceros commander and chief
Re-elect President Rhino! Re-elect the rhino
All hail President Rhino! All hail rhinoceros commander and chief
All hail President Rhino! All hail! All hail!
Track Name: So. Heavy.
This song is so heavy
It makes you want to headbutt a mountain
This song is so heavy
It makes razor blades taste like candy
This song is so heavy
It makes you want to punch a tornado
This song is so heavy
This chorus is nothing but growling
Oooooohhhhhh oooooooohhhhh aaaaaaaahhhhhh

You scream high... I scream low
Doesn't this sound fucking amazing
Those vocals were so heavy
It makes your grandma have a baby
Can you understand what I'm saying?
Cookie cookie... want a cookie!
This song is so heavy
It's actually kind of exhausting

"I'm playing this rhythm with my right arm while I'm
flexing my bicep on the other arm
And then I give it a kiss because I love my guns
And I don't think that you've had enough let's break it down

A little bit softer now
A little less brutal now
A little bit softer now
A little bit lower gain

A little bit softer now
A little less brutal now
A little bit softer now
A little less in your face

A little bit louder now
A little more brutal now
A little bit louder now
A little bit higher gain

A little bit louder now
A little more brutal now
A little bit louder now
A little more in your face

Double bass (in your face!) x 2
Jog in place (jog in place) x 2
Teabag the stage (teabag the stage)
Teabag the stage!

This song was so heavy
My eyes and eardrums are now bleeding
This song was so heavy
It reached the point of nauseating

This song was so heavy
Somebody get me a barf bucket please
This song was so heavy
Seriously, you gotta stop, or I'm gonna throw up
The end.
Track Name: Dogs Like Socks
I'm a dog and I like socks
I like socks, I'm a dog
I'm a dog and I like socks
I like socks, I'm a dog

Gimme that sock!

We are dogs and we like socks
We like socks, we are dogs
We are dogs and we like socks
We like socks, we are dogs

Dog dog dogs
Socks socks socks
Dogs socks dogs
Socks dogs socks

I'm a dog and I enjoy playing with socks for some reason
Don't judge me!

We are dogs
We like socks
I'm a dog
I like socks

Pick up the sock
Then throw the sock
I'll catch the sock
and bring back the sock

I'm a doggie (I'm a dog)
I'm doggie doggie dog, that likes socks!
Track Name: Quack Kills
I’m being watched
By a duck
And with a little bit of luck
I can move away and never fear again

I saw his beak
He made a smirk
Then he dunked his head to lurk
And turned my blood to ice within my veins

I would migrate north if you could guarantee
That there are no ducks in the Arctic sea
Their waddling gives me anxiety
Whenever they're following me

I'm afraid of a duck
(With their creepy webbed feet)
I'm afraid of a duck
(And their razor sharp beak)
I'm afraid of duck
(They have beady black eyes)
I'm afraid of a duck
(And they're staring at me!)

You dirty cloaca go back to your flock of
Paddling revolting floating freeloading POULTRY!

Here they come
I think I’m marked
Every time I’m at the park
A miscreation comes to steal my bread

Drop your things and
Run for the car
Cuz if you don’t make it that far
They’ll feast upon your fallen corpse instead

There is nothing more fowl than a drake on a lake
Staring me down until I finally break

A flap of their wings gives me a panic attack
And I don't have the strength to fight back

I'm afraid of a DUCK!
(they would kill you for your bread)
I'm afraid of a DUCK!
(Then eat your liver instead)
I'm afraid of a DUCK!
(I wanna smash all their eggs)
I'm afraid of a DUCK!
(Stop laughing at me!)

You think that it's funny, just wait till their coming
Don't you know birds of a feather murder together?

He's watching me! (They're after me!)

I’m afraid of that duck
I’m afraid of that other duck
I’m afraid of the flock
And all my friends think I should see a QUACK
But I’m not cool with that
Claiming ducks are all innocent THEY'RE NOT!

Little pieces of shit, they bit me when i was a kid... ruined my fucking life! I could have been president, look at me now! I'm in this stupid band!

I'm not crazy you see
Look, they hunt in a flying "V"
And it's pointed at me
My worst nightmare descends upon OH GOOOOOD!
Track Name: Blue Screen
I can't believe it went down this way
I had so much left to save
I thought that we would last forever
But now I'm taking it day by day

Oh what I'd give to have you again
But there's no way I can get in
You shut me out of my whole world now
My heart is in the recycle bin

And I....
don't know why
Backups weren't on my mind
Till the day my computer died
My hard drive fried and I cried

I was too careless
Now it's repairless
I know that's not a word, but
I don't give a f___ less
And now that you won't load
Not even in safe mode
I gotta check E-MAIL ON MY PHONE

I feel as blue as my screen
Your error message is true
You formatted my heart
and partitioned it in two

I'm trying so hard to be strong
To be a man who can take a fall
I guess I had to learn the hard way
The price of making you hold it all

Now fate has forced me to interract
With human beings who talk and laugh
I'm in a hell of social functions
Fresh air and sun have turned my heart black

And I...
Know I tried
For the data you had inside
Disk utilities couldn't find
Why my access was denied

Now it's all over
I'll never recover
The memories you stored
Must have been a bad sector
And now you're so empty
You boot up to nothing
Now I gotta look up stuff in books "Ugh..."

I saw you wouldn't get started; I tried running Gparted
through the night just to find you couldn't be revived.
I had to lose all my shit to learn to never forget
That you can never depend on just a single drive

The saves to my games and all my porn... I miss you. I miss you.
I'll heal with time, but for now, I miss you. I miss you.
Miss you x 8

I hit Control+Alt+Delete
I guess there's no other way
Now I'm formatting C: (colon)
But you come up blank
Track Name: NSFW
Fuck, Shit
Track Name: Danger Zone
Revvin' up your engine
Listenin' to her howlin' rawr
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go

Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone

Headin' into twilight
Spreadin' out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin' of the track
And shovin' into overdrive

Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take you right into the Danger Zone

You'll never say hello to you
once you get it on the red line overload
There ain't nothin' you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go

Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity

Highway to the danger zone
I'll take you right in to the Danger Zone

Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone
Track Name: Loathe Thy Neighbor
Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds
You wave her a friendly hello, while she glares with judging eyes
Her glasses held by chains on pointy 1960s frames
They help her see your faults as she's squinting with disdain

A retired english teacher with an overhelming fragrance
Still alive, too stubborn to die, and death don't have the patience
She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude
And whenever she loses at bingo, she takes it out on you

Calls the cops on her rotary phone
Every time you try to mow the lawn

Close your blinds, lock your doors (nosy bitch)
I mind my business, now you mind yours
Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (HAG)
Now get off my porch and get off my ass (YEAH!)

Get off my ass
Go back inside
Stay in your home.
Leave me alone

Get off my ass (get off my ass!)
Go back inside (Go back inside!)
Stay in your home. (Stay in your home!)
Leave me alone (Leave me alone!)

Imagine a jerk in his 40s, in front of the broke down house that he rents
Not all that bright, chugging Natural Light, flicking cigarette butts over your fence
Screaming all day at his beat up truck that he always fails to repair
More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth, and he doesn't seem to care

A former high school quarterback, with delusions of long past glory
Blasts 80s crap from his Pontiac, as he tells you his whole life story
He parks and blocks my driveway then dumps his cup of tobacco spit
Setting fireworks off after midnight? I'm about to lose my SHHH- ...temper.

Mows his lawn at 2am (I shit you not)
He likes me, but I hate him
Deadbeat dad, he doesn't pay child support
He looks like Carl from Aquateen Hunger force (huh... yeah!)

Close your blinds, lock your doors (ya freakin' DOUCHE)
I mind my business, now you mind yours
Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (you stupid UGHHH)
Now get off my porch and get off my ass (Seriously)

We all hate the HOA
All the homes they look the same.
The mortgage states the house belongs to me
You need to chill the fuck out and get off of my property

Some are so friendly but
Some of them are enemies
Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard
Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy
Tempts me to empty my bleach on their yard

I pour bleach on your yard
(I) Spelled "BITCH" on your lawn
(Yeah) that's right. FUCK your grass
Loathe thy neighbor
Track Name: AWESOME
Monster trucks are fucking awesome
Running shit over... that's fuckin' awesome!
Mowing the lawn... that isn't awesome!
Monster trucks that mow the lawn... now THAT'D be awesome

All that shit that's fuckin' awesome, give it to me. Give it to me.
All that shit that isn't awesome you can keep it!

Blow jobs are fucking awesome!
Bubble wrap... is sortof awesome!
Staplers... I guess they're awesome...
Clipping shit together... that's productive!

All that shit that's fuckin' awesome, give it to me! *staple* Give it to me! *staple*
All that shit that's sortof awesome I'm indifferent.

Trampolines direct deposit fighter jets and nachos all AWE-SOME. AWE-SOME.
Acid rain and moldy cheese and waiting in line at the DMV all NOT AWESOME.
Frozen pizza styromfoam and clothes hangers and soap I could take it or leave it
Awesome things are awesome and the things that aren't are not
And that's the way of the land.
That's just the way the world is, man.

Burning alive... is NOT awesome.
But waking up to a puppy... that's CUTE and awesome!
Finding a dollar, that's pretty awesome!
Supplemental income YEAH, now we're talking!

I can't wait to spend my dollar... what should I get? What I get?
99 cent store or dollar menu cheeseburger

All that stuff that's fucking awesome GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME.
I am totally serious I'm not asking but I'm demanding GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME.
How'd you like it if I strapped you down and pulled your fingernails out GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME....
All you gotta do to end the pain is give me awesome stuff so GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME
Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme

... thanks!
Track Name: Choking Hazard
First aid for choking

Step one, ASK, "Are you choking?"
This is the univesal choking sign.

Step two, have someone CALL EMS AMBULANCE
Telephone 911

If victim can speak, breathe, or cough...

If victim cannot speak
If victim cannot breathe
If victim cannot cough
Perform Heimlic maneuver until food or object is forced out.

If victim becomes unconscious...
Clear mouth.

Perform abdominal thrusts
5-10 times.

Repeat steps until food or object is forced out. Then do
mouth-to-mouth or CPR as necessary.

Step one (again), ask, "Are you still choking?"
Step two, Still waiting on the ambulence, where are they, traffic jam, possibly
Wait a sec, flashing lights, here they come, finally!

This song is legit information. It could save sombody's life someday
If you find yourself in this situation, remember what we had to say then
Perform abdominal thrusts. Again!
Track Name: Fight to the Death
Fight to the death for the last slice of pizza
You gotta want it more than him
Fight to the death for the last pizza slice
It's time to make your stand

You gotta punch him in the face
Then he punches you in the face back
Then you punch him in the face once again
And it makes him madder and he punches you in the face back
And you punch him in the face ... yet again
Then you punch eachother... continuously!

Look at this guy!
He thinks he knows karate
But he DOESN'T... know karate!
You gotta put him in his place
With your fist or maybe a kick in the dick
Now maybe stomp his ribs and liver
OH FUCK! That totally backfired
Now he's comin' for you
Whatcha gonna do
And uh, somethin' other funny thing

It's gone down to the ground like UFC
But it's really pretty damn boring
They're just laying there, holding eachother...
It's technical but not exciting to watch.

Knee strike!
Kidney punch!
Eye gouge!
Wet willie!
Elbow drop!
Potato chips

And they're up and moving again
Now it's exciting again
What is he gonna do next?
He's gonna play a GUITAR SOLO

*snap stick in half sound effect*

Holy shit! He's got a pointy stick!
He's gonna try to stab you with... the pointy stick!
Don't take that shit!
You gotta form a defense
The only option now left is to
Hit him with a TRUCK

("Hey, there's only one beer left!")
FIGHT TO THE DEATH for the last can of beer!
("Hey, we only have more roll of toilet paper!")
FIGHT TO THE DEATH for the last toilet paper
("Who left a dish in the sink?!")
FIGHT TO THE DEATH cuz a dish in the sink!
("No, I'm NOT getting the mail today, it's YOUR turn to get the mail!")
FIGHT TO THE DEATH to see who gets the mail
("Hey, you don't fight Alex, I'm the only around here who gets to fight Alex!")
FIGHT TO THE DEATH to see who gets to fight ALEX to the DEATH!
Fight to the death (fight too the death)
Fight to the death over various stuff!
Track Name: Bruce Campbell
Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen
All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes
The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career
Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere

Bruce Campbell
We're gonna be best friends
Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules
From season 1 till the end
I'll hand you everything I own
And you'll sign it all for me
Then we'll start rehearsing for
Cave Alien 3

Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead
Imagine him as Spider-Man, a finer choice indeed
Casablanca could’ve been improved if Campbell would’ve said
Here’s lookin’ at you…you primitive screwhead

Bruce Campbell
Dert dert da dert dert dert
Gonna come to your house and put Xena on
And not sleep till it's done
I got the whole box set for
Brisco County, too
I love you and to prove it's true
I'm gonna play a kazoo
*kazoo solo*

Bruce Ash Campbell is a truly stellar man
He bravely fought the deadites but a chainsaw took his hand
Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use
I’ll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce

Bruce Campbell
I need the measurements for your chin
Gonna get me a jawbone implant
And I'm gonna be your twin
Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face
And put it right on my...face
Then we'll fly into outer space and...
Hey Bruce, where are you going?

Bruce campbell (gonna find you)
You can't hide from me
I found your house on Google maps
And just watched you go pee
When I find you, I'm gonna clone you
Take your DNA against your will
I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells
To build Bruce Campbellville
Track Name: The Power of Metal Compels You
Slap and pop, to make your panties drop.
Guitar slides, to slip them down your thighs.
Drum fill will make you squeal!
We release the power of brutal break downs

The power of metal compels you to return to
Your place of origin
Or the nearest parallel dimension

Go back to the hell from whence you came.