IV: Revenge of the Vengeance

by Psychostick

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Mustache? No. Sideburns? No. Goatie? Maybe... Beard? BEARD! Do you feel alone? Do you feel neglected? Not doin' well with the ladies? Well I've got the solution for you! Low self esteem? GROW A BEARD! Afraid to follow your dreams? GROW A BEARD! Are you lonely and sad? GROW A BEARD! Wanna look good in plaid? GROW A BEARD! Are you working out? GROW A BEARD! Did your car break down? GROW A BEARD! Ice caps melting? GROW A BEARD! Are you stuck in the middle of a nowhere and you need to make an important phone call but the battery is dead and you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger? GROW A BEARD! Grow the beard Feed the beard Brush the beard Manscape the beard Stroke the beard Love the beard Fear the beard OBEY THE BEARD OBEY THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) BEHOLD THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) ACCEPT THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) ROB: RESPECT THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) Impress your date with your beard Eat a steak with a beard Chop down trees with a beard Crush your enemies with a beard Catch a fish with a beard Round house kick with a beard Troll the net with a beard Chia pet? Ch-ch-chia beard Drive a truck with a beard Try your luck a beard Arm wrastle with a beard Teenage mutant Ninja beard Pet the doggie with a beard Pledge allegiance to the beard Can't grow a beard? BUY A BEARD? Have a beard? GROW MORE BEARD! "You need to shave that thing!" SHUT UP GRANDMA! GROW A BEARD! Defend the beard Drink to the beard cuz Beards are good and scruff (OBEY THE BEARD) BEHOLD THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) ACCEPT THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) ROB: RESPECT THE BEARD (OBEY THE BEARD) I was so empty and lost inside till I grew you (till you grew me) I put my faith in my facial hair to get me through I can defy the odds again and again With you on my chin (I'm your chin!) With every moment you grow closer and closer to my heart. "I love you, beard." "If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?" Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard. For bearder or for worse, In scruffiness and in beard, till shave do you part. I beard. Abe Lincoln had a beard ZZ top, EPIC beards Dimebag Darrell, METAL beard Chuck Norris, KICKASS beard #1 Make it beard Chewbacca IS a beard Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, GOD has a beard. Obey the beard
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ALL HAIL PRESIDENT RHINO ALL HAIL Rhinoceros Commander and Chief Republicans think they got a solid economic platform. Rhinoceros has two horns Democrats want to raise the tax on the rich A Rhino's skin is grey and thick Rhino will bore through your entrails swat flies with his thick tail debate social issues When it’s time to vote you KNOW WHAT TO DO (Vote Rhino) The people loved him for his brutal honesty Till he mauled a crowd of people at a orphan charity When Rhino's term was finally ending His support had started waning Grazing on the White House lawn The press revealed that he was lazy Foreign policies in question Poachers gone, yet still in recession Rhino just wants to stampede I think it's time that he secedes How could we all believe that such a prehistoric beast who barely sees could have capacity to lead the country to prosperity? Re-elect President Rhino! Re-elect rhinoceros commander and chief Re-elect President Rhino! Re-elect the rhino All hail President Rhino! All hail rhinoceros commander and chief All hail President Rhino! All hail! All hail!
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H-Flat 00:20
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So. Heavy. 04:48
This song is so heavy It makes you want to headbutt a mountain This song is so heavy It makes razor blades taste like candy This song is so heavy It makes you want to punch a tornado This song is so heavy This chorus is nothing but growling Oooooohhhhhh oooooooohhhhh aaaaaaaahhhhhh You scream high... I scream low Doesn't this sound fucking amazing Those vocals were so heavy It makes your grandma have a baby Can you understand what I'm saying? Cookie cookie... want a cookie! This song is so heavy It's actually kind of exhausting "I'm playing this rhythm with my right arm while I'm flexing my bicep on the other arm And then I give it a kiss because I love my guns And I don't think that you've had enough let's break it down A little bit softer now A little less brutal now A little bit softer now A little bit lower gain A little bit softer now A little less brutal now A little bit softer now A little less in your face A little bit louder now A little more brutal now A little bit louder now A little bit higher gain A little bit louder now A little more brutal now A little bit louder now A little more in your face Double bass (in your face!) x 2 Jog in place (jog in place) x 2 Teabag the stage (teabag the stage) Teabag the stage! This song was so heavy My eyes and eardrums are now bleeding This song was so heavy It reached the point of nauseating This song was so heavy Somebody get me a barf bucket please This song was so heavy Seriously, you gotta stop, or I'm gonna throw up The end.
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I'm a dog and I like socks I like socks, I'm a dog I'm a dog and I like socks I like socks, I'm a dog Gimme that sock! OM NOM NOM We are dogs and we like socks We like socks, we are dogs We are dogs and we like socks We like socks, we are dogs Dog dog dogs Socks socks socks Dogs socks dogs Socks dogs socks I'm a dog and I enjoy playing with socks for some reason Don't judge me! We are dogs We like socks I'm a dog I like socks Pick up the sock Then throw the sock I'll catch the sock and bring back the sock I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm doggie doggie dog, that likes socks!
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Quack Kills 03:29
I’m being watched By a duck And with a little bit of luck I can move away and never fear again I saw his beak He made a smirk Then he dunked his head to lurk And turned my blood to ice within my veins I would migrate north if you could guarantee That there are no ducks in the Arctic sea Their waddling gives me anxiety Whenever they're following me I'm afraid of a duck (With their creepy webbed feet) I'm afraid of a duck (And their razor sharp beak) I'm afraid of duck (They have beady black eyes) I'm afraid of a duck (And they're staring at me!) You dirty cloaca go back to your flock of Paddling revolting floating freeloading POULTRY! Here they come I think I’m marked Every time I’m at the park A miscreation comes to steal my bread Drop your things and Run for the car Cuz if you don’t make it that far They’ll feast upon your fallen corpse instead There is nothing more fowl than a drake on a lake Staring me down until I finally break A flap of their wings gives me a panic attack And I don't have the strength to fight back I'm afraid of a DUCK! (they would kill you for your bread) I'm afraid of a DUCK! (Then eat your liver instead) I'm afraid of a DUCK! (I wanna smash all their eggs) I'm afraid of a DUCK! (Stop laughing at me!) You think that it's funny, just wait till their coming Don't you know birds of a feather murder together? He's watching me! (They're after me!) SHH! I’m afraid of that duck I’m afraid of that other duck I’m afraid of the flock And all my friends think I should see a QUACK But I’m not cool with that Claiming ducks are all innocent THEY'RE NOT! Little pieces of shit, they bit me when i was a kid... ruined my fucking life! I could have been president, look at me now! I'm in this stupid band! I'm not crazy you see Look, they hunt in a flying "V" And it's pointed at me My worst nightmare descends upon OH GOOOOOD!
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Blue Screen 04:36
I can't believe it went down this way I had so much left to save I thought that we would last forever But now I'm taking it day by day Oh what I'd give to have you again But there's no way I can get in You shut me out of my whole world now My heart is in the recycle bin And I.... don't know why Backups weren't on my mind Till the day my computer died My hard drive fried and I cried I was too careless Now it's repairless I know that's not a word, but I don't give a f___ less And now that you won't load Not even in safe mode I gotta check E-MAIL ON MY PHONE I feel as blue as my screen Your error message is true You formatted my heart and partitioned it in two I'm trying so hard to be strong To be a man who can take a fall I guess I had to learn the hard way The price of making you hold it all Now fate has forced me to interract With human beings who talk and laugh I'm in a hell of social functions Fresh air and sun have turned my heart black And I... Know I tried For the data you had inside Disk utilities couldn't find Why my access was denied Now it's all over I'll never recover The memories you stored Must have been a bad sector And now you're so empty You boot up to nothing Now I gotta look up stuff in books "Ugh..." I saw you wouldn't get started; I tried running Gparted through the night just to find you couldn't be revived. I had to lose all my shit to learn to never forget That you can never depend on just a single drive The saves to my games and all my porn... I miss you. I miss you. (porn) I'll heal with time, but for now, I miss you. I miss you. Miss you x 8 I hit Control+Alt+Delete I guess there's no other way Now I'm formatting C: (colon) But you come up blank
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NSFW 03:13
Fuck, Shit
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Danger Zone 03:50
Revvin' up your engine Listenin' to her howlin' rawr Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into the Danger Zone Headin' into twilight Spreadin' out her wings tonight She got you jumpin' of the track And shovin' into overdrive Highway to the Danger Zone I'll take you right into the Danger Zone You'll never say hello to you once you get it on the red line overload There ain't nothin' you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go Yeah! Out along the edges Always where I burn to be The further on the edge The hotter the intensity Highway to the danger zone I'll take you right in to the Danger Zone Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into the Danger Zone
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Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds You wave her a friendly hello, while she glares with judging eyes Her glasses held by chains on pointy 1960s frames They help her see your faults as she's squinting with disdain A retired english teacher with an overhelming fragrance Still alive, too stubborn to die, and death don't have the patience She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude And whenever she loses at bingo, she takes it out on you Calls the cops on her rotary phone Every time you try to mow the lawn Close your blinds, lock your doors (nosy bitch) I mind my business, now you mind yours Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (HAG) Now get off my porch and get off my ass (YEAH!) Get off my ass Go back inside Stay in your home. Leave me alone Get off my ass (get off my ass!) Go back inside (Go back inside!) Stay in your home. (Stay in your home!) Leave me alone (Leave me alone!) Imagine a jerk in his 40s, in front of the broke down house that he rents Not all that bright, chugging Natural Light, flicking cigarette butts over your fence Screaming all day at his beat up truck that he always fails to repair More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth, and he doesn't seem to care A former high school quarterback, with delusions of long past glory Blasts 80s crap from his Pontiac, as he tells you his whole life story He parks and blocks my driveway then dumps his cup of tobacco spit Setting fireworks off after midnight? I'm about to lose my SHHH- ...temper. Mows his lawn at 2am (I shit you not) He likes me, but I hate him Deadbeat dad, he doesn't pay child support He looks like Carl from Aquateen Hunger force (huh... yeah!) Close your blinds, lock your doors (ya freakin' DOUCHE) I mind my business, now you mind yours Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (you stupid UGHHH) Now get off my porch and get off my ass (Seriously) We all hate the HOA All the homes they look the same. The mortgage states the house belongs to me You need to chill the fuck out and get off of my property Some are so friendly but Some of them are enemies Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy Tempts me to empty my bleach on their yard I pour bleach on your yard (I) Spelled "BITCH" on your lawn (Yeah) that's right. FUCK your grass Loathe thy neighbor *SLAM*
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AWESOME 03:32
Monster trucks are fucking awesome Running shit over... that's fuckin' awesome! Mowing the lawn... that isn't awesome! Monster trucks that mow the lawn... now THAT'D be awesome All that shit that's fuckin' awesome, give it to me. Give it to me. All that shit that isn't awesome you can keep it! Blow jobs are fucking awesome! Bubble wrap... is sortof awesome! Staplers... I guess they're awesome... Clipping shit together... that's productive! All that shit that's fuckin' awesome, give it to me! *staple* Give it to me! *staple* All that shit that's sortof awesome I'm indifferent. Trampolines direct deposit fighter jets and nachos all AWE-SOME. AWE-SOME. Acid rain and moldy cheese and waiting in line at the DMV all NOT AWESOME. NOT AWESOME. Uh-uh. Frozen pizza styromfoam and clothes hangers and soap I could take it or leave it Awesome things are awesome and the things that aren't are not And that's the way of the land. That's just the way the world is, man. Burning alive... is NOT awesome. But waking up to a puppy... that's CUTE and awesome! Finding a dollar, that's pretty awesome! Supplemental income YEAH, now we're talking! I can't wait to spend my dollar... what should I get? What I get? 99 cent store or dollar menu cheeseburger All that stuff that's fucking awesome GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME. I am totally serious I'm not asking but I'm demanding GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME. How'd you like it if I strapped you down and pulled your fingernails out GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME.... All you gotta do to end the pain is give me awesome stuff so GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme ... thanks!
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First aid for choking Step one, ASK, "Are you choking?" This is the univesal choking sign. Step two, have someone CALL EMS AMBULANCE Telephone 911 If victim can speak, breathe, or cough... STAND BY BUT DO NOT INTERFERE AND WAIT FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP If victim cannot speak If victim cannot breathe If victim cannot cough Perform Heimlic maneuver until food or object is forced out. If victim becomes unconscious... Clear mouth. Then Perform abdominal thrusts 5-10 times. Repeat steps until food or object is forced out. Then do mouth-to-mouth or CPR as necessary. Step one (again), ask, "Are you still choking?" Step two, Still waiting on the ambulence, where are they, traffic jam, possibly Wait a sec, flashing lights, here they come, finally! This song is legit information. It could save sombody's life someday If you find yourself in this situation, remember what we had to say then Perform abdominal thrusts. Again!
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Fight to the death for the last slice of pizza You gotta want it more than him Fight to the death for the last pizza slice It's time to make your stand You gotta punch him in the face Then he punches you in the face back Then you punch him in the face once again And it makes him madder and he punches you in the face back And you punch him in the face ... yet again Then you punch eachother... continuously! Look at this guy! He thinks he knows karate But he DOESN'T... know karate! You gotta put him in his place With your fist or maybe a kick in the dick YEAH! Now maybe stomp his ribs and liver OH FUCK! That totally backfired Now he's comin' for you Whatcha gonna do And uh, somethin' other funny thing It's gone down to the ground like UFC But it's really pretty damn boring They're just laying there, holding eachother... It's technical but not exciting to watch. Punch! Knee strike! Jab! Kidney punch! Eye gouge! Wet willie! Elbow drop! Potato chips And they're up and moving again Now it's exciting again What is he gonna do next? He's gonna play a GUITAR SOLO *snap stick in half sound effect* Holy shit! He's got a pointy stick! He's gonna try to stab you with... the pointy stick! Don't take that shit! You gotta form a defense The only option now left is to Hit him with a TRUCK ("Hey, there's only one beer left!") FIGHT TO THE DEATH for the last can of beer! ("Hey, we only have more roll of toilet paper!") FIGHT TO THE DEATH for the last toilet paper ("Who left a dish in the sink?!") FIGHT TO THE DEATH cuz a dish in the sink! ("No, I'm NOT getting the mail today, it's YOUR turn to get the mail!") FIGHT TO THE DEATH to see who gets the mail ("Hey, you don't fight Alex, I'm the only around here who gets to fight Alex!") FIGHT TO THE DEATH to see who gets to fight ALEX to the DEATH! Fight to the death (fight too the death) Fight to the death over various stuff!
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Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere Bruce Campbell We're gonna be best friends Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules From season 1 till the end I'll hand you everything I own And you'll sign it all for me Then we'll start rehearsing for Cave Alien 3 Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead Imagine him as Spider-Man, a finer choice indeed Casablanca could’ve been improved if Campbell would’ve said Here’s lookin’ at you…you primitive screwhead Bruce Campbell Dert dert da dert dert dert Gonna come to your house and put Xena on And not sleep till it's done I got the whole box set for Brisco County, too I love you and to prove it's true I'm gonna play a kazoo *kazoo solo* Bruce Ash Campbell is a truly stellar man He bravely fought the deadites but a chainsaw took his hand Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use I’ll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce Bruce Campbell I need the measurements for your chin Gonna get me a jawbone implant And I'm gonna be your twin Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face And put it right on my...face Then we'll fly into outer space and... Hey Bruce, where are you going? Bruce campbell (gonna find you) You can't hide from me I found your house on Google maps And just watched you go pee When I find you, I'm gonna clone you Take your DNA against your will I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells To build Bruce Campbellville
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Slap and pop, to make your panties drop. Guitar slides, to slip them down your thighs. Drum fill will make you squeal! We release the power of brutal break downs The power of metal compels you to return to Your place of origin Or the nearest parallel dimension Now Go back to the hell from whence you came.
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credits

released November 4, 2014

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Psychostick Chicago, Illinois

Psychostick is a comedy metal band who enjoys beer, boobs, and the occasional dichotomy of a bi-partisan government. Wait... what?

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