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by Psychostick

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KaneSeatHeadrest Hey! Not bad. Hot mustard. Good bread. Turkeys a little dry. The turkeys a little dry! Oh, foul accursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee!? Favorite track: We Ran Out of CD Space.
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Zizbaja Love it! Psychotick is funny while doing... Serious Metallica Stuff. xP Favorite track: The Hunger Within.
HorrorSage thumbnail
HorrorSage Freaking Funny as F Favorite track: We Ran Out of CD Space.
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JesmondJester If you have to drive 200 miles to see this band. Do it. They're one of the best live acts around. This album is nearly as good but you don't have to drive to get it. Favorite track: Shower.
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FiTZ A genre parody that actually works as a rock/metal album. They totally nailed some classic hooks and vocal styles. A little bit of Tool here, Fred Durst or Serj Tankian there. There's angry rapping right next to soft ballads. Songs about food and biting social commentary. How they make it so genuinely hardcore and so hilarious at the same time is amazing -- and the last song is the culmination of their musical & lyrical genius: the most absurdly brilliant song since Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds Favorite track: We Ran Out of CD Space.
Metal? 00:25
Caffeine 02:49
Caffeine Hyper Make Me Caffeine Happy Make Me Red Bull Crazy Make Me No Doz Happy Make Me Soda Happy Make Me Caffine Really Make Me Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Caffeine Caffeine Caffeine, in my coffee Caffeine, in my Mountain Dew Caffeine, in espresso! Caffeine, in my BAewiawjecn'3eirh3qnbrjn Caffeine got me buzzin' Caffeine make me go all, WHEE! Caffeine got me wired. YEAH! Brew me a pot of fresh coffee Getting sleep is overrated Gimme a venti cafe latte I am very caffeinated Energy Drinks replace water Bowels feeling irritated Cappucino is my mother Fracppucino is my lover Makes me feel exhilarated Brewing a pot of fresh coffee Feeling fatigue as I'm waiting Eyelids begin to get heavy Consciousness gradually fading Finally got me coffee Brain is operating Hopelessly addicted Caffeine hyper make me Coffee Happy Make me Caffeine really make me Go go go go NUTS.
Shower 05:27
Take off your clothes. Pick up the soap. Get in the tub. Turn on the water and check on the temperature, curtain facade. Pull on the knob. Water on face. This is the place to be time to get nice and clean shower! Water washes all of the parts of you in need of a good washing killing bacteria on your body leaving you feeling great increasing your odds that night of getting laid. When you're getting your scrub on you can practice on your singing having a blast with the water that you're flinging making your fingers wrinkled if you stay in too long The water's warm and so inviting and it's cold outside I want to stay in here forever where the steam doth rise Shower! Better wash behind your ears! Better get between your toes! Don't forget your belly button It's shower time you bitches! Do your best to get your back! Let the soap run down your crack! Private parts need your attention It's shower time you bitches! Get everywhere. Shampoo your hair. Rinse it all out. Cleaning is done today, time to procrastinate stay in the shower Another half hour Hot water hog. Pounding on door begins time for the fun to end shower! Scrub!
P is the best letter in the whole alphabet because it starts the name of the greatest band ever. The greatest band ever happens to be the one you are now listening to We're the greatest band ever God we fuckin' rule! R is the second best letter of those mentioned because it starts the name of the greatest singer ever The greatest singer ever happens to be the one you are now listening to. I'm your favorite singer ever. God I fuckin' rule! J is a better letter than the ones that you've heard because it starts the name of the guys playing stringed instruments. We are the ones that destroy your faces off because we break it down.
Minimum Rage 03:36
All day I was working a shitty job with shitty pay. My only motivation was leftovers from yesterday. I come home to find that my lasagna is all gone. You're the only culprit, now the line must be drawn. I hate you. You ate my food. You killed my mood. That was so rude. Don't eat my food! Those are my taquitoes and those cupcakes belong to me. Don't you fucking eat them or death will find you in your sleep. That's my frozen pizza and those are my burritos too. Don't you fucking touch them or you'll be eating through a tube. (You get what you pay for) I have no food. You ate my food. I'll get repaid by eating you! Don't eat my food!
I wish I had a taco with plenty of hot sauce but all that I've got is a box of crackers. I wish I had a pizza with mushrooms and sausage but all that I've got is a jar of mayonnaise. The fridge is so empty! Good food is so tempting! I've got 3 more days ‘till I get paid. Take away my suffering I can't go on with things this way There's only so much that I can take of eating ramen noodles. I wish I had a waffle all yummy and covered with syrup and butter and fresh strawberries. I wish I had an omelette the kind that you stop just to get at IHOP with some hash browns and coffee. I've got 2 more days ‘till I get paid. Take away my suffering I can't go on with things this way. There's only so much that I can take of eating dry Cheerios. Spot me for lunch! I'll pay you back on Friday! I'll pay you back real soon! I wish I had some ice cream with plenty of chocolate syrup on top of it. Maybe whipped cream. Oh man, that sounds so good right now.
The other day I went to the store to get a gallon of milk but then I found out that they only had 1% but not 2%. I want 2%. I got 1%. I still got it on sale. I saved 39 cents. I've got to get to isle five right now because Mr. Pibb and Hot Pockets are buy one get one free. Out of the way old lady. Out of the way I'm shopping. Ooh! Look at the price on pickles! Out of the way you people! Out of the way everybody! I've got to get bread. Eggs. Grapes. OJ. TP. Soap. Toothpaste. Deodorant. Chips. Peas. Corn. Cheese. Porn? Spaghettios! Salt. Cups. Sprite. Kittle litter. Bleach. Uhh... yogurt. Oreos. Jager. Cheerios. What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, BEER!
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "This is a SONG!" Well I guess I'll just have to show ya exactly where you are wrong. Why are you hearing the cheese? Why are you feeling the ham? If you don't listen you'll miss it! You don't understand! I will explain it all once! I can explain it all twice! To make it clear to your brain until you've taken a bite! It couldn't be a dam ‘cuz it doesn't have a beaver. It's not the DMV ‘cuz it doesn't make you wait. It couldn't be a taco ‘cuz it isn't very crunchy. It couldn't be an Olsen ‘cuz it isn't Mary Kate. It can't be Dirty Dancing ‘cuz it doesn't make you vomit. It couldn't be an iron ‘cuz it doesn't burn your face. It couldn't be Bruce Campbell ‘cuz it isn't freakin' awesome. It couldn't be a keyboard ‘cuz it doesn't have a space bar! Because this is not a song it's a sandwich. What would make you think otherwise? This is not a song it's a sandwich. Now no more of your vile filthy lies! So what are you thinking? Still think this is a song? Do you require more proof? Do you enjoy being wrong? Why aren't you hearing the meat? Why aren't you feeling the bread? You're making me sad. I will explain it all once! I can explain it all twice! And then again and again until you've taken a bite! It couldn't be a chick ‘cuz it doesn't want to marry! It can't be Windows Vista ‘cuz it doesn't suck enough! It couldn't be a boob ‘cuz it isn't very squishy! It couldn't be a beer ‘cuz it isn't good and stuff! It couldn't be a tub ‘cuz it doesn't have a ducky! It couldn't be a stoner ‘cuz it doesn't have a joint! It couldn't be an egg ‘cuz there is no Easter Bunny! It couldn't be a song ‘cuz it doesn't have a point! Because this is not a song it's a sandwich. What would make you think otherwise? This is not a song it's a sandwich. It's really just a hoagie in disguise! This is a song? No it's a sandwich. Lettuce. Bacon. Mayo. Tomato. Cheese. Olives. Onions. Frog. Tuna. Turkey. Peppers. Salami. Noodles. Pizza. Tires. Robots.
Girl directions! Give me the fuckin' address! Give me the fuckin' address you bitch! I'm using a GPS!
Orange 03:16
You're an orange! You're round and juicy and sweet. You're full of vitamin C. Here in my hand sits a lovely orange and it's round and I think it has a really yummy taste and it's skin has pores and it's juice is sweet and it peels and I gotta say I think it's kinda neat. Sweet oranges! You're filled with generous amounts of supplements like natural folate, thiamin and magnesium. That's better than the content that is found within your standard apple, passion fruit, honeydew or plum. Have you had your V8 today? NO WAY! You're just drinking a pizza. Tomatoes really are fruit. Here in my hand sits a lovely orange and it's orange and I think it makes a really handy snack and it comes with seeds or it comes without take a bite, get a seed, and you'll wanna spit it out. You are in genus citrus and you come from trees that have white flowers and sometimes reach fifty feet in height. Your pulp has tightly packed membranous juice cells packed into a wedge that tastes real good when I take a bite.
Beer, Part 2 00:38
Do you want a taco? Do you? Do you find every thought you have's about it? Do you ache every second you're without it? Do you feel like your soul's on fire? A burning desire! Do you hate anyone who keeps you from it? Would you do anything until you got it? Would you slay a thousand zombies if it meant you were gonna get one? Do you feel inner peace because you hold it? Would you fall in despair if you had dropped it? Does it meet every need you have inside? You feel so alive! Do you crave all the simple pleasures of it? Does the taste qualify to call transcendent? Can you claim that to taste it is to know the mind of God? Do you consume it, or does it consume you?
Woa yeah! This is the part of the song where I talk about emotions. This is the part of the song where I sing about how I feel so cold inside. And this is where my producer told me to say, "Yeah!" This chorus is so freakin' catchy. You will never be able to get this song out of your head for the rest of your life. This is the verse sounding just like the verse you heard before yeah! But if you please take note that the lyrics are slightly different than last time. We're killin' time until we're at the chorus again. Love every night love every day Love is everywhere and it's here to stay I will be with you you will be with me for all eternity! Let's sell a million albums! Yeah! Rock! This pretty bridge has no distortion. Drum fill! And here we are back at the chorus! Don't you remember the one that is so freakin' catchy it's stuck in your head for the rest of your life? And once again repeat the chorus For dramatic effect to remind you that it will be stuck in your head for the rest of your life.
Vah-jay-jay 00:08
Who likes vaginas? I DO I DO! Who likes vaginas? That would be me.
Die or I will kill you until you die from when I killed you and you'll have died and I'll have killed you and you'll be die and I'll be kill you! People DIE Flowers DIE Seasons DIE Elders DIE Species DIE Planets DIE Love DIE... a LOT! Puppies DIE Squirrels DIE Engines DIE Pandas DIE Cookies DIE Monkeys DIE Death DIE... a LOT! Kitties DIE Bunnies DIE Cell phones DIE Gerbils DIE Waffles DIE Trees GROW? NO! DIE... a LOT! Friends DIE Happy DIE Hugs DIE Unicorns DIE Santa DIE Zombies live? You DIE... a LOT! You. Me. Him. Her. Everyone's gonna die! Us. Them. They. Come on everybody die! Tell me dontcha wanna die? Die until you're dead. And now we die! Josh DIE Jake DIE Jimmy DIE Alex DIE Me, DIE... a LOT!
If you should ever decide you want to start a career in internet marketing. If you engage in spam there's something you should know that I will hunt you down and I'll destroy you. I get online, then notice I have email I click my inbox, and see ah, what the fuck? 20 emails, all coming from the same guy. I don't why he's concerned about my penis size. And what is this? I've won a brand new Xbox? I click the link and I get fifty popups. Try to close 'em, my PC takes a shit on me. There is no rubber for electronic STDs. For every spam I get I'm gonna make you eat your own shit. For every spam I get I'm gonna choke you with your own dick. Thank you for ruining the internet fuck face. Donkey balls. Cooter cream. Dick. I get rebooted, and get back to my email. I got some forwards, a lame joke from my mom. Keep on searching, for anything legitimate. I got a feeling, I'll never end up finding it. And what is this? Shania Twain all nekkid! I click the link and I get dicks on the screen! Endless dickage, colossal disappointment. I'm gonna find you and slay you with enjoyment. For every spam I get I'm gonna smash in your face with a brick. For every spam I receive you're gonna get to gargle your pee. For every spam I get later I'm gonna rub your face on a cheese grater. For every spam you send me I'm gonna do something like really not good! Thank you for ruining the internet shit lick. Penis steak. Anal butter. Cunt.
Your pubes are on the soap ‘cuz you never wash them off and I never say a thing! There's wrappers on the floor and you never do the dishes and I never say a thing. Well... I'll move your bookmark to a different page! I'll let your hamster out of it's cage! I'll call you names when you're just left the room! I'll draw mustaches on pictures of you! Passive Vengeance! No direct confrontation at all! You haven't got a job and you owe me for the rent and I never say a thing! You always eat my food and you're hogging up the shower and I never say a thing! Well... I'll put a scratch on your favorite CD! I'll tell your friends you watch CMT! I'll steal your change that you dropped on the floor! I won't tell you when I go to the store! You won't see this coming at all! You won't see this coming! Calculated retribution you will feel me indirectly. In retaliation justice will be dealt because I farted on your door handle (you got more comin') I took a roll of toilet paper! (NO MERCY) I gave your dog diarrhea (you got more comin') I threw away your phone charger (so take that bitch) So take that bitch! You want more bitch? How can you prove it was me? That's called Passive Vengeance!
Outtakes 06:40
What if the world was made of glazed donuts? You've would be like, "Man, that's fucking sweet, I can't believe the world's made of donuts!" What if the world was made of hot pockets? You would be the first one to be eaten in survival situations. What if you're thumb roared like a dinosaur? What if you peed out of your nose? What if your face was shaped like Mexico, or bacon bits, or Texas and Hawaii? What if the world was made of other worlds combined into a world just like the world you started with? What if another world then ate the world make out of donuts making all the donut people pissed? What if your face was made of bumblebees? You would be like, "Dude this really sucks, I do not want a face made out of bumblebees." What if you dad was made of rainbows? You would be like, "OMG that's lame. I want a dad made out of ninja robots." What if your pool was filled with applesauce? What if a hot dog was your tongue? What if you mouth was filled with broken glass and FIRE ANTS and three meat jambalaya? What if you tried to build a spaceship with a cannon that shoots crocodiles at everyone you hate? And what if those crocodiles could shoot heat-seeking killer bees ensuring that there would be no escape? What if your room was filled with lots and lots of puppy dogs? You would be like... (stupid cutesy sounds) Where do the squirrels go during hurricanes? What if your butt was on your chest? What if guitars could squirt out sour cream, and nacho cheese, and pure sulfuric acid? What if the world---


released May 4, 2009


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Psychostick Chicago, Illinois

Psychostick is a comedy metal band who enjoys beer, boobs, and the occasional dichotomy of a bi-partisan government. Wait... what?


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